ABCDs of On-Demand Writing

Juvenile Justice Persuasive Essay Prompt

“Last month in Sacramento, a fifteen-year-old Yuba City youth who reportedly claimed he was mimicking a TV program about little girls who rob a bank was given a 26-years-to-life prison term. Tried as an adult, Thomas A. Preciado was fourteen when he stabbed to death a minimart clerk.

In April, Court TV will air live daily coverage of the trial of Nathaniel Brazill, now fourteen, charged as an adult with first-degree murder. Brazill was thirteen and already in trouble for throwing water balloons when he returned to his Lake Worth, Fla., middle school and shot to death an English teacher, who would not let him say good-bye to two girls on the final day of classes.

This is not to say that the boys’ crimes were not heinous, or that they should go unpunished. No one’s talking about coddling here. But the zeal to corral wildly troubled, ever-younger kids and ram them through the adult system belies everything the juvenile justice system is all about: that kids are different. Their reasoning is not fully developed.

They are not adults.”

---Adapted from Marjie Lundstrom’s “Kids Are Kids—Until They Commit Crimes

The Sacramento Bee, March 1, 2001

Writing Directions:

Explain Lundstrom’s argument and discuss the way in which you agree or disagree with her analysis and conclusion. Support your position, providing reasons and examples from Lord of the Flies, other readings, and your own experiences or observations.

If you were absent 11/9, you need this outline!

Deciphering the Prompt

1. Read through the writing prompt. What is the general topic?

2. Read the “Writing Directions.” Underline the words that suggest what kind of writing you are being asked to do. For example, “tell a story,” “explain” or “convince.”

3. Reread the excerpt from Lundstrom. Find and underline the parts, which suggest her opinion.

Persuasive Outline for Juvenile Justice Essay

Introduction

Explain Lundstrom’s argument:_____________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Agree or disagree with her analysis and conclusion (thesis): _______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

The prompt tells you to: Support your position….

Present Counter Argument One

A reason that the other side would be likely to give: Some people might argue that ____________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Topic sentence/ your reason: However, this is wrong/ incorrect/ insignificant etc because __________

________________________________________________________________________

Concrete detail

Commentary

Present Counter Argument Two

A reason that the other side would be likely to give: Some people might argue that ____________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Topic sentence/ your reason: However, this is wrong/ incorrect/ insignificant etc because __________

________________________________________________________________________

Concrete detail

Commentary

Present a Reason Why Your Argument is Right

Topic sentence explaining why your thesis is right: ______________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Concrete detail

Commentary

Concrete detail

Commentary

Present Your Strongest Reason

Topic sentence explaining why your thesis is right: ______________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Concrete detail

Commentary

Concrete detail

Commentary

Paragraph five: Conclusion

Restate thesis in a new way: ________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

A final, memorable line, which calls your audience to take action: ________________________________________________________________________

Reviewing your Outline

1. Check your outline to see if you have done what the prompt asked you to do.
1. Did you Explain Lundstrom’s argument?

2. Did you agree or disagree with her analysis and conclusion?

3. Did you support your position, providing reasons?

4. Did you support your argument, providing examples from Lord of the Flies, other readings, and your own experiences and observations?

2. Read over the rubric and if you imagine that you did nothing more than rewrite what you currently have on your outline, predict a score for each category.
1. Position: _______
2. Organization and coherence: ________
3. Elaboration:________

3. Now read the descriptors to the left of the score you gave yourself and determine what you could do to improve your chances of getting a higher score.
1. What one thing could you do as you turn your outline into an essay in order to get a better score on position?

2. What one thing could you do to get a better score on organization and coherence?

3. What one thing could you do to get a better score on elaboration?

The Simpsons Parody of Lord of the Flies