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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sample Responses & Feedback to LF Chapter 5

Ms. Rogers' A2 class responds to Ms. Ohana's A4 class.
Comments follow each paragraph.


Chapter 5 Reading Responses

I. Big Ideas

The central conflict of chapter five is that everyone is not working together to get rescued. When Ralph calls a meeting he argues, “we have lots of assemblies. Everybody enjoys speaking and being together. We decide things. But they don’t get done…” (pg.79). Throughout the chapter the meeting goes Ralph argues that everyone is not working together to make shelter, keep fresh water, and keep the fire going which was essential for their rescue. Another important topic that is covered is “the beast” that the littluns are fearing. When a littlun tells Jack about the beast Jack quotes, “ He says the beast comes out of the sea”(pg. 88). Nobody believes him, but in reality all are in fear. All are wondering whether they are to be rescued or not. Ralph begins to question his leadership when he starts to feel unsure and fearful of what is to come.

What’s good about this paragraph?

· Description of Ideas

· Seems to have read

· Strong insight

· Integrating passages

· Attempted commentary

What could be improved?

· Having a clear focus (If paragraph were focused on FEAR, for instance, the writing would likely have been stronger because fear was a big part of the chapter)


II. Character

The author wrote “he found himself understanding the wearisomeness of this life, where every path with an improvisation and a considerable part of one’s waking life was spent watching one’s feet” (76), because Ralph has understood what is going on and is trying to do his best to be chief. The character Ralph seems to have changed in this chapter because he has become more mature about the events that have happened. That is why he has called an assembly with the other boys to set them all straight and to take this situation seriously.

What’s good about this paragraph?

· Able to integrate the passages

What could be improved?

· Vague understanding of the reading


III. Analysis of a Critical Line

When the author writes about Ralph thinking while walking on the beach. It’s important to the development of the character Ralph, because it shows his full thought process. The author describes Ralph’s adult- like thought process with, “he found himself understand the wearisome of this life, where every path was an improvisation and a considerable part of one’s waking life was spent watching one’s feet”(76). This shows Ralph thinking in depth on his daily life, and using his newfound adult thoughts. Ralph has turned into a responsible, thoughtful, smart, respectable man. This occurred because he was forced to take on responsibilities and act as an adult and father to these kids.

What’s good about this paragraph?

· Focused!

· Conclusion

· Integrating passages

What could be improved?

· Fragments (complete sentences)

· What it means to be an adult vs. a child.


IV. Author’s Style

the title of the chapter “Beast From Water” is significant because the boys think that the beast could be from the water. While discussing where the beast comes from or what the beast is, Jack says, referring to Percival’s statement, “He says the beast comes out from the sea” (88). When Ralph looks toward the lagoon they see a black, humped figure against the lagoon. Behind the lagoon’s the sea adding to their theory of the beast existing in the sea Maurice says, “Daddy said that they haven’t found all the animals in the sea yet.” explaining that the unknown (beast) could be out there. Since the boys cannot prove that the beast lives in the sea it makes it scarier, no one knows if the beast was real or not.

What’s good about this paragraph?

· Commentary at end of the paragraph

· Integrated quotation

What could be improved?

· NEEDS TOPIC SENTENCE that has opinion, right now the obvious is stated

· Mostly summary until the end of paragraph

· Explore issue of fear that is mentioned at the end of the paragraph—interesting ideas that could make a strong, interpretive, paragraph











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